Start weight: 234.5
Current weight: 191.8
Total lost: 42.7

Don't know what I can say at this point, that I haven't already said.

I got on the scales this morning and saw 191.8, but I'm positive it won't last, especially with me wide open. I did take advantage of being open last night and had some of my queso and chips, and may have some today, but I resolve that tomorrow and thereafter, I will eat as minimally as possible, and hopefully won't gain much. But I'm treating today like a vacation :)

WHY is this so freaking hard for me?!?!

I accidentally took a gulp of my coffee this morning, and have been PBing since. I believe I'm so swollen that I can't even keep my saliva down. I called Dr. B's office and got the "on-call" number. The on-call doctor (whose name I missed) said he's actually coming out this way today and is going to try to work out something where he can meet up with me and do an unfill. I told him I didn't care if he did it in the backseat of the car!

I mentioned to him my fill history and he said that he's known several people who could only get .25cc at a time. I think I'm probably one of them. Getting .5cc just seems to be too much for me. I don't know if he's going to completely unfill me (hope not!) or just take out .25cc.

Just hope he hurries. It's already 2:30p.m.

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Update: I met Dr. Felts and his lovely wife at 6:15 at a gas station in Terrell. He had offered to make a house call, but really, I didn't feel right taking him another 40 minutes out of his way (20 coming/20 going), so I just met him there. He had me sit on the tailgate and did the unfill there. He took all of it out - I'm wide open. He told me to call the office on Monday and set an appointment for the following Monday, and to have them put .8cc in only, and that from now on, I shouldn't get a fill of more than .3. They sat there while I drank down a quarter of a bottle of water to make sure everything was ok, and it was.

I came home, and had dinner, and I feel terrific now, except that I can't get as much water down as I want! :)

I got a fill today! They pulled .6cc out of it, and added .5cc more, so I now have 1.1cc in me. When it came time to drink the water, I got really gassy, and was worried it wouldn't go down, but it did, and I have since had two Soups at Hand, one for lunch and one for dinner. Tomorrow, we'll try mushies.

They (AIGB, not Dr. B's office) were very impressed that I've dropped 14 lbs since I was last in their office on March 15, and at first hesitated on whether I should have a fill...until I told them I was already up 2 lbs this week, starving, and looking for anything in the world to eat. Those were the magic words apparently, because out came the needle.

All in all, this visit went much better than the last one! LOL...I absolutely have restriction, I'm just barely hungry. Hopefully, I'll come out with a loss this week :)

OH...about my foot - it's not a neuroma. My chiropractor, who I needed to see this week, gave my foot an adjustment and now I can walk almost 2 miles completely pain free :)

Start weight: 234.5
Current weight: 194.8
Total lost: 39.7

I really need a fill, but I think I'm going to put it off. Once again, have spent most of the weekend sick, and it's really taking a toll on me. I've spent the last two weekends sleeping most of the day away, after being sick on Friday nights. I'm having a hard time getting down anything remotely healthy, but chips, ice cream, a freaking bagel dog....all the junk food, goes down and stays down. That makes NO sense to me!

I did manage to lose one pound this week, after gaining two and losing three. More evidence I need a fill.

I tried walking the other day and got a pain in my left foot. So I went yesterday and bought a new pair of cross-trainers, threw the old shoes away on the spot, and walked about a mile around the mall, and damned if it didn't start hurting again! I'll be calling a podiatrist tomorrow. It sounds like Morton's neuroma. I can't imagine what I'll look like if I lose all the weight without walking for exercise!!

I've been struggling really hard all week, and have put 2 lbs back on! I don't see the doctor again until Tuesday, which is actually a week earlier than it was supposed to be because he has to go out of town. I'll be shocked if I lose anything this weekend. I'm hungry all the time, and my food choices are like totally BAD (mini-eclairs anyone?). I can eat just about anything I want, and am probably eating a cup at a time, and grazing all day. *sigh*

Still, I'm leery about getting the fill, based on it went the first time, and this fill will probably take me up to 1cc. I can't imagine him giving me only .25cc and I already have .5cc in there.

Because I'm hungry, I've been eating fast, so I've had a couple of PBs this week, but nothing like I've had in the past, thank God! Today I just flat out wasn't paying attention and ate too much and oops, there it went. I'm still not really getting that "full" signal...hopefully the fill will fix that.

Eh, life with the band...not quite what I expected it to be!

Start weight: 234.5
Current weight: 195.8
Total lost: 38.7

OK, so since Monday, I hadn't had a PB until Friday night, and it's been bad since then. I'm going full fluids tonight to end it (which I should have done yesterday). Nice loss this week though, 3.2 lbs.

I've started walking down to the dock, and walking back up, instead of taking the golf cart. For those of you who haven't seen it, we live on a hill that has probably a 10% grade. For someone with bad knees, it's a nightmare, and for most people, a few trips up and down it will cause some tightening in the back of the legs, and perhaps muscle-aches. It's not a lot of exercise, but it's a start.

Size 18 slacks no longer fit me at all, but most of my 16s are fairly snug. I have got to get rid of this belly, which seems to be the majority of the "snug" problem. They go over my thighs, they fit my butt, but come to zip them and it's no go. I do think it's time to get going on the exercise.

When I have the PBs under control, I'm happy and excited about being banded. My daughter asked me last night if knowing what I know, would I do it again. I had to think about it for a minute, but ultimately, the answer is yes. I'm thrilled with how quickly the weight is coming off, and knowing that before Christmas (sooner?), I'll be completely done, and in the meantime, I won't look horrible wearing shorts and the skimpy little tops I love wearing so much during the summer. ;)

I should have updated this after my doctor's appointment and didn't. I'm sorry for worrying you guys!

The doctor basically said that he believes it's behavioral, that I haven't hurt my band (he said it would take longer than 2 months of the off/on PBing to cause it to slip), and that he won't give me anymore fills until it's under control.

And of course, I haven't PB'd since I made the appointment. Sheesh!! I've gotten close, but have been able to walk it off each time.

Interestingly, he said that I have a tight band. I suspect (and these are just my own thoughts, and I'm too afraid to ask him) that I was probably borderline on whether to have the regular band or the larger, VG band, and he chose the smaller one. It would explain why a 1cc fill would have caused me so much trouble. Maybe on the next visit, I'll ask him. I've actually thought this for about a month now.

I have a visit in 3 weeks to see how I'm doing. He was very pleased that I had lost 11 lbs (by his scale) since my visit on March 20th, and said he didn't think I really needed a fill, because I'm still losing so well. He also told me to eat a snack in between meals to help with the hunger. So now I get 3 meals and 2 snacks a day...bet THAT slows down my weight loss....lol!

Anyway, I was able to actually eat a piece of thin crust pizza last night, which was a real treat. :)

So, that's where we are. Thanks for caring!!

I'll be seeing Dr. B tomorrow at 11 a.m.

But of course, after getting myself upset again about all this, I managed to eat and keep down last night's dinner of pork loin, asparagus and mashed potatoes.

I am absolutely positive that these PBs are caused by my own behaviors, and the fact that if I really focus on my meals, I can keep the food down, just confirms it.

I'll feel better though if he can assure me that I've not hurt my band!

And I really, really want to thank all of you who are coming by here and reading. It means a lot!

Start weight: 234.5
Current weight: 199.0
Total lost: 35.5

Well, I'm finally under 200, but believe it or not, I'm not happy about it. After my last post about the PBs stopping, by the next night, they were back in full force and haven't stopped yet. With each day that passes, I'm growing more concerned that my band has slipped. I'm calling my doctor tomorrow.

I'm positive that these PBs are behavioral - that I'm eating too fast and not chewing well enough, although God knows, I try. Last night, it was so bad that I couldn't even hold a glass of milk down, although I'm doing ok with coffee today. The thing I am noticing though, is that it now seems to be primarily happening at night, so I'm going to try making my lunch my heavier meal and keeping dinner light, and primarily mushies.

I'm also terrified that I'm headed for malnutrition if I don't get this under control pretty soon. I know when I call my doctor, he's going to want to unfill me, and I'm already starving between meals!

There are truly days when I wish I hadn't done this :(

On the way to work: One Myoplex protein shake.

Breakfast: Eggbeaters, one small strip of bacon, one-half of a "Health Nut" english muffin (very high grained).

Snack: 5 cashews.

Lunch: Tomato Soup at Hand, 4 crackers.

Snack: Oops, one-half of a chocolate chip cookie during an office supply company's presentation...everyone else was eating.

Dinner: More of the grilled chicken and mashed potatoes that I ordered at Chili's on Saturday! That was three meals I made out of that child's portion, and still hadn't gotten but halfway through it! I finally fed the rest to the dog, figuring it had been reheated enough.

And best of all...not one PB!! Woohooo!! This was the most food I've eaten in many days. I bet I'm up a pound tomorrow. For the first time, I wouldn't mind.

The most critical thing has been to get the PBs stopped. If I can keep this up for a few days, then I can get back on track. But I've been so very low in nutrition the past few days and it's got me terrified. I lost quite a bit of hair this morning, so I'm not worried about calories at this point.

And actually, with so much protein (and really, not that bad on calories), I may drop a couple of pounds. My body likes me doing a high calorie day a couple of times a week and rewards me appropriately. We'll just have to see :)

But NO PBs!!!!!!!!!!

Start weight: 234.5
Current weight: 201.2
Total lost: 33.3

Still PBing, but not as often. I'm finally learning to take much smaller bites, to put my fork down between bites. Now the thing that I need to work on is knowing when to stop...and I'm even getting better about that over the past couple of days. I'm finally learning to recognize that STOP point before it's too late.

At the moment, I'm wearing some of the shorts that I was wearing last summer, before the weight started piling back on! That's very exciting for me. I spent today cleaning out my closet, and while I didn't get rid of any clothes (except 2 pairs of pants), I pulled all of my clothes out and washed them, and I'm looking forward to getting back into some of them.

I've discovered that I can eat pasta, and best of all, I can eat bread (toasted). I just have to be smart about both of them...very very small bites, and chew very well before swallowing. I can eat Texas toast, but I cut the slice in half, so that I'm eating only the top 1/8" and that's good enough for me.

I'm only 1.3 lbs away from being under 200 again....Woohooo!!