Not sure what possessed me

As I've mentioned before, I'm a newlywed. Scott and I just celebrated our first anniversary July 11. As a newlywed, even though I'm 49, I do feel compelled to grant my husband's desires...and the man loves for me to wear lingerie.

So, since I've been losing weight, I try to pick up something new here and there, that he likes.

The other night, I met him and his work buddies after hours for an adult beverage...or two....or three. It was over a long enough period of time that I was "happy", but not drunk. So when Scott suggested we go over to the nearest "adult toy" store, I was game. Giggly, but game.

We look over the selection, and I found a couple that I kinda liked, but he found one he really liked. I looked at it dubiously, since it was a "One Size Fits All", and I know that those don't fit me. But what the hell, I'm giggly and wanting to satisfy my spouse. We buy it.

A couple of days later, it occurs to me that we had bought it and the bag was still in Scott's van. I send him out for it and he brings it in, very smiley. I took the bag into the bedroom and started to put the outfit on over my head, when it becomes very apparent that I could drop another 40 lbs and never be able to wear this thing...the...uh...cups on it are like a size A and I'm a C, and there's no pretending my way through it...it does not fit.

What do I do with it now? The adult toy shop isn't going to take it back. I guess there's always ebay, but do they allow adult content??

Mental note to self: Quit buying "One Size Fits All". It's a lie, and they will never fit you, no matter how thin you get.